A System Of Sorts

My procrastination is still driving me up the wall but I would like to share my system, initially devised/imposed by Johan and adapted by myself. It's certainly not a cure, but it works more often than not, which is why I continue to use it.

Without a regular job to discipline me to a routine, I flounder; without a structure to pin me down, I feel as though I'm spinning off into space. I'm not a 'natural' diary user and I've never learnt the art of deferring gratification. By nature I tend to be scatty and disorganised. It never occurred to me until relatively recently I didn't have to turn the place upside down to find my passport - I could - wait for it - keep it in one place! Of course it seems screamingly obvious, but I wasn't taught any of these things, I didn't have role models who used them and it certainly didn't come naturally to me. Therefore applying this has felt unnatural and weird, at least initially, but it sort of works. Sometimes I have a bad few days when I don't use it and things go to cock, so I go back to it.
My System:

• Basically it involves divvying up your day into time slots and allotting tasks (or appointments and wotnot) to them. No surprises there.. The difference is locating the FROG! The frog is a term coined by Brian Tracy (you can see a video on You Tube which summarises what it's all about here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W7GB5Fh2XM) which means identifying the thing you need to do but are avoiding and then doing that first. It comes from a parable of a man trapped in a swamp who has to eat one frog per day in order to survive. It's so horrid that he gets it out of the way and then it's over with. The same principle applies to identifying the frog of the day on your schedule. The idea is that you do it first (OK for me, this often doesn't happen) and then the rest of your tasks are easier and less arduous and you get more done.

• Then there are the tasks for the week (which might also be frogs quite frankly - but only one frog per day) which may be bigger goals broken down, in my case they are often things set by Johan (since he is the one who boldly claimed he could fix me and my procrastination) and might involve something like tidying my 'man draw' where I shove lots of eclectic bits of crap.

• The rest of the day is then divided up and I'm supposed to allot 30 mins a day on writing my script, again, I'm afraid recently this has gone out of the window.. sigh..

• Finally there's my points system. Johan introduced this but I found the points meaningless as they amounted to nothing without any consequences. Therefore I added some. I would take, say a three week period, work out an average basic level of points I should get each day (in my case 25 points over 5 days per week, allowing my self a fair two days off) and then decide on an amount over and above this, plus a certain level of tasks completed that would give me a reward. Conversely an amount significantly below (and an unacceptable amount of tasks completed) results in a punishment. That ways it actually means something. I should add that different tasks accrue differing points. Any task taking between 1-15 minutes is 1 point, others, such as working on my script gets an extra 5 points. I guess it doesn't matter so long as it's decided in advance. Completed - I should say eaten - frogs get a cool 10 points.

So yesterday I totted up my points and see that I'm into the reward zone, which means I owe myself some nice raw chocolate as a treat and can thankfully avoid the dreaded bar of marzipan - phew!

As you can see from the example above my diary looks like organised chaos, but it's better than just chaos!

A Stiff Performance

I am currently in rehearsals for a production of a Christopher Marlowe play in which I am to play the clown amongst other assorted roles. The director, who is a genius - and one who I could cheerfully slap at times (but more on that another time!) threw me in the deep end, getting me to 'entertain' the others in rehearsal (since the clown will have to do such a show) but with no warning whatsoever. I simply had to open my bag and see what came out. Feeling enormously pressured ("no pressure - just be funny") I delved in and made 'fork-on/fork-off' jokes with, um, a fork and 'you're taking the pith' jokes with some orange peel I'd diligently placed in a Tupperware container to throw away later. I so wanted to say "please, please - I'm feeling really threatened - couldn't we do this in a closed rehearsal?" but I knew what he'd say; he'd tell me that this is precisely the thing that a clown would have to do - just go in and engage the audience and therefore this is what I must do. My discomfort was of no consequence, in fact - good! - get you out of your comfort zone. He has a point (even though he didn't actually say these things - but having worked with him plenty and often feeling like I'm 'in the shit', I knew he would!)

He says I'm a natural clown but that I lack rhythm. Rhythm, rhythm - bloody rhythm! Whilst I maintain that I'm a great 'free-range' dancer, particularly after a glass of wine or three, I am practically dyslexic when it comes to following any kind of choreographed dance steps. I am happy to play the fool, look stupid or ugly for a part and feel very free to express myself in that way. But there is no quicker way to make me feel vulnerable, paranoid and just plain crap than to try and get me to follow dance steps as I guarantee when everyone else is going one way, I'll go the other. [aside: I was talking to one of my fellow performers about this only yesterday, he says he's used his total lack of rhythm to his advantage in pantos and such things, as he's up the front doing his own thing, throwing weird and hilarious shapes for the audience's amusement (and to the other cast members' fury), however I do think it's harder if you're female as perhaps people expect you to be a bit more graceful.. but I speculate..] This particular director is all about the rhythm of the performance and frequently plays a drum so that we get the tempo. He's always going on about the 'on beat' and the 'off beat' and I have much to learn from him. This is a great position to be in - I wanted a challenge and I've got one dammit! But it's also making me feel really exposed. None of this is helped by the fact that I over-extended my back in yoga and the stiffness I feel in my back and body is making my lack of rhythm even more apparent. I'm even resorting to paying the extortionate fees of a chiropractor to help loosen things up as I think it may have triggered an old injury I sustained being thrown down in an exercise on a concrete floor in an exercise whilst training. 

Reading this back, I've just asked myself the (rhetorical) question 'why am I an actor again?' - it's a bonkers business all right. Shame I don't have an actual office because if ever one of those ridiculous signs 'you don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps', was warrented; this is it!