I have a few good days at tackling things and then something happens that throws me off and I feel I'm back to square one. Recently a lot of things have happened to throw me off. The last few months have been hard in general. Obviously a break-up is a major blow, but so is losing 3 iPhones in as many months. Last Friday my latest replacement went for a burton down a drain when I was unlocking my bike. I couldn't believe it and fell to my knees shaking my fists at the iPhone gods and yelling "Noooo!" whilst frantically scraping at the drain cover like a madwoman. The only upside of this was the kindness of the lovely Samuel, a complete stranger at the time and a "local beggar" (his words) who without a second thought stripped off to the waist and dived down the drain to retrieve the handset. He has restored my faith in mankind. Sadly, however the phone itself, despite initial promising signs of recovery has today committed suicide. Since we run our lives by our smartphones these days and are tied in to contracts, this is another blow. Not getting jobs from the last two auditions I've had in a while, whilst hearing of other people's successes is a confidence-knocker. This is now reading like a general list of 'moans', and next to Samuel's plight, mourning the loss of what must seem to him a frivolous and pointless gadget when he can't afford to eat, reminds me of how lucky I am in comparison - which is yet another stick to beat myself with! Basically I'm in a funk and I need to get out of it.
Whilst procrastination often seems to be my default response to things when they go a bit awry, and there are complex reasons behind it, does that mean I should just give in to it? Of course not! Procrastination is also a habit, and one I have to believe can be broken. Naturally there are setbacks, but to use the analogy of an aeroplane straying slightly off course and navigating it back, if you refocus your efforts you will eventually reach your destination.
Last year I went a free two day Coaching Course run by The Coaching Academy. Naturally, it was really an advert for their proper full-on course to become a qualified coacher, which costs thousands and therefore completely out of the question. It also seems to me that many people who don't quite know what to do with their lives become coachers. Maybe that's unfair, but I would personally feel a bit of a fraud advising others to become more effective, organised high achievers when I struggle with identifying, setting and achieving my own goals. At least once a week I get an email from them, urging them to come on one of their courses or to recommend a friend, but which also includes a link to their blog which has some useful titbits: http://www.coachingacademyblog.com/?p=5421
This entry had some timely advice about breaking negative habits and forming more useful ones. The writer (Susan Grandfield) compares the negative habit that you want to change with wearing a comfortable old pair of shoes. You know they are worn and others are noticing how old they look, but they fit really well (so well that you don't even know you're wearing them) and they don't give you blisters! You know you need some new ones, but the idea of traipsing round the shops trying them on for size and perhaps not finding any that are suitable is painful. And then you have to break them in. Grandfield suggests doing the following:
- become aware of the behaviour or thought that you want to change and specifically when they act out (you may want to write it down so that you can start to recognise the pattern)
- every time you feel yourself doing or thinking that thing, pause, take a breath and change your physiology or your environment
- identify what behaviour or thought you would like to have instead
- start doing it and keep doing it for 21 days
She adds that it is more realistic to assume that breaking a habit and forming a new more useful habit will take up to 100 days! Ouch... I'm not sure what that means if in terms of setbacks, where I go back to old habits, which can happen as frequently as once or twice a week (and if I'm honest, more). But hopefully it doesn't mean I am completely back to square one - even if it looks like square one!
Coincidentally I have also invested in a new pair of shoes because I had to admit that my old comfy ones were beginning to let the rain in and were looking like they were discarded by a tramp. The new ones pinch a bit and feel 'odd', but I'm sure in 21 days or less they will feel like they belong on my feet!
Someone posted this on Facebook. Don't know who took the image, but it seemed fitting and it amused me!
No comments:
Post a Comment